Sometimes the butterflies mean something else.
I learned this as they swarmed unforgivingly in my stomach while Serendipity flashed across our screen.
We hadn’t even made it halfway through before you exclaimed, “This is a cheating movie. I don’t like this movie.”
And I stammered, “Wow, you’re right…I never realized…we don’t have to finish.”
You were already off the couch, heading towards your computer to pass the time on your own. You didn’t really want to watch a movie, anyway.
It was then that I realized what the butterflies were trying to tell me: the man I thought was my John Cusack, was actually my John Corbett. And if I were Kate Beckinsale in this scenario, that meant my love story hadn’t yet ended…had it even started?
At the time, instead of watching my favorite movie alone, for once I turned off the TV. I pushed those feelings of doubt off the proverbial cliff of my insecurities, where they sunk into an ocean of denial so deep and endless, I nearly drowned with them.
I used to believe in fairytales, and to me, Serendipity was like a modern-day example of love. But it wasn’t until you pointed out the emotional cheating that it occurred to me…
…not all fairytales are linear.
You and I both realized something that day, thanks to sweet Serendipity: we weren’t meant to be together. Well, maybe we already knew it, and maybe we pretended not to know it still for a while after. But it was undeniable what we both felt in the air – the tense yet shared understanding of what kind of couple we were, and what kind of couple we were not.
It’s okay to acknowledge that we wasted time with the wrong people.
I still haven’t found the right one. But I really hope you have, because we all deserve our magical moment on the ice rink.